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When I was a little girl, I used to wake up in the middle of the night with fear in my heart -- fear of death. I was in despair because I did not know what would happen to me after death. I thought there would be nothing and it would be the end. As a little girl, I ran to my parents' room in tears, asking, "Mama, am I going to die?" Throughout my happy childhood, this nightmare haunted my heart.
While growing up, I learned to drive this fear deep inside myself. Yet, I was always wondering what would happen after I die. Death scared me, but life went on. Sports and money became most important to me, because they gave me self-confidence, independence, and pride in myself. I alone decided what was good and what was bad. Everything I had been taught by my parents became of minor importance. I had no interest in the lives of people around me. Yet, despite the importance and success I achieved, I still had no answer to the question of what happens after death. I had outward strength and beauty, but fear was victorious inside. "Why live," I thought, "if I have to die all the same?" Only God who created me, could answer this question.
I heard about God for the first time from my best girlfriend. At first, it all seemed like a fairy tale. Yet, I heard that people can receive eternal life simply by believing in Jesus Christ. I realized that I was getting closer and closer to answering the question that had troubled me all my life. That God gives us eternal life was a discovery. As an 18-year-old adult, I went running to my mother in tears, just as in my childhood. Only the words were different, "Mama, I'm not afraid of death anymore. Christ has given me eternal life."
Since then, four years have passed. My greatest joy is that all my family - my parents and sisters - now believe in Christ. God showed me a wonderful way and I chose it. This year, I graduated from Bible College in Moscow. I want to tell the people of my country about our great, loving God, who gives love, joy, happiness, and, above all else, meaning to life.
This story courtesy of Women Today Magazine.
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